Parking like an ass

 

Drive it like you sailed it

Drive it like you sailed it?

Now I don’t actually know any donkeys that are capable of driving, let alone have licenses. But I do know it looks like many are driving.

This bothers me, but not really because of any inconvenience. Actually I find it to be a great convenance when I can identify when an ass is driving a car. You see I don’t trust an ass to not scratch my paint, I don’t trust them to have the dexterity to get out of a parking space without hitting my car, and I don’t trust them to be able to get into their car without dragging their ass (an ass’s ass?) across my car. It bothers me because it means someone let an ass drive a car.

So, I will post pictures of cars from time to time that appear to have been driven by a random Equus africanus asinus. If you are the driver of one of those cars and wish to have it clarified that you did not let an ass drive your car, but it was actually you then simply send me a note with a picture of you posing next to the vehicle and license plate and I will correct my fault by posting it with the original picture and apologize for having thought a wild animal was driving your car. I will blur out the license plate and only require it for confirmation purposes.

Now, I also want it to be known, if I park like an ass and someone gets a picture of it then feel free to post it to the web, heck send it to me, I’ll post it too. But any photo sent to me must have a visible, legible license plate which I will obscure before posting online.

Now this particular picture, I took this picture on 9 August, 2010. If parts of the photo look a little odd it is from my deleting parts of the photo to protect the innocent. Usually people on post are fairly nice about parking. mainly because the MPs don’t have much else to do. Although I can’t say I have EVER seen a parking ticket at the Fort Eustis PX, and it isn’t for lack of opportunities. Take this one for example, Coast Guard car (can tell by the base sticker). I guess they drive their cars like they do boats. There was a car on the driver’s side so they were giving it a wide berth. Even though the ground won’t randomly push the cars into each other they drive like they might. So instead they just takes up two spots for their car. The other option is an ass was driving the car, it would explain why the top was down and all the windows rolled up. Couldn’t fit inside the car with the top closed and hooves were too big to control the power window switches.

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